Stuck in the 220s

So, I've been stuck in the 220s for at least two weeks now...

It's time to evaluate what I've been doing right and what I've been doing wrong...So here's my confessions...

I have not been focused on me lately. My weight loss has NOT been a priority, and that needs to change. I have also been snacking a lot more lately, it seems. Therefore, I need to start really choosing smart snacks (protein first!). I have also been slacking on the exercise bit. Since my gallbladder removal, I haven't had the energy like I had and I just want to nap all the time. I need to get my butt to the gym. It is going to happen next week over Thanksgiving Break because my brother won't let me NOT go to the gym, but I need to become more self-motivated...

I am also looking for an accountability buddy. Someone to randomly text me and be like "have you gotten your ass to the gym today?" If you're interested, hit me up!

For now, I'm going to continue trying to get out of these 220s!

My List of Things I'm Thankful for Since WLS

So, since Thanksgiving is quickly approaching, I want to do a list of things I am thankful for since I've had my weight loss surgery. Here goes nothing:
1.) I can walk up a flight of stairs without being winded. 60+ pounds ago, this never happened. I would have to take a "breather" at the top of the stairs before reaching my destination so I didn't sound like I just ran a marathon.
2.) I walked a 5K for Breast Cancer. I never would have signed up to do that before my gastric bypass. Granted, I walked it, but it is a step in the right direction. I'm hoping to do the Couch to 5K program in the next few months or so and then by next year's 5K, I can run it.
3.) I have so much confidence. I have been told that my confidence just radiates out. I am so happy with my decision to have WLS.
4.) I've learned that I come first. Previously, everything else came first, and before my health. That phase in my life is over. I focus on me. I focus on doing well in school and being successful with my surgery.
5.) I am thankful everyday for the support I have in my life. Whether it be my parents (who are constantly boasting about me to everyone) or it be my amazing roommates who support me 100% in everything I do. I am thankful for the random people who compliment me because they have seen my blog updates, or my facebook pictures.
6.) I am thankful for the ability to help others. A few weeks ago I was approached by a really good family friend who said I was an inspiration to her soon-to-be stepdaughter who is overweight right now and dealing with bullying at school. I just want to shout out to her (I'm sure she knows who she is!) and say that I know you can succeed in being the best you that you can possibly be. And as far as the bullying goes, I've been there. People are downright mean. What is important to remember is that you are more important than anything they say, and remember that you can't let them bring you down.
7.) I am thankful for my pouch. It tells me when I'm full, and if I don't listen, it punishes me. It helps me realize what I can/should eat versus what I shouldn't.

What it really comes down to, is that I am the happiest I have ever been. I am almost to Onederland (just about 25 pounds to go!), and I only have 100 lbs to lose til goal weight. I can't imagine doing things any differently right now. This was the best decision I could have ever made for myself.

***Just as a side note, I bawled my way through making this list. That's how emotionally attached and proud I am of myself and of the support I have gotten. You guys (reading this, right now) are the best thing in my life. Thank you all for supporting me and for being with me on this journey!

Obese Class 2

As of my official weigh-in this morning, I am down to being Obese Class 2. When I started this journey, my BMI was over 40 putting me at Morbidly Obese Class 3. Now, my BMI is under 40, and I'm feeling great. My life is full of non-scale victories, and I finally set a short-term weight loss goal for myself. I want to be in Onederland for New Year's! For those of you who don't know, Onederland is where your weight begins with a 1...so typically, it is said Onederland is reached once you weigh 199 or less.

I will update with all of my non-scale victories soon, along with doing a "What I'm Thankful For since WLS" blog in the spirit of Thanksgiving.

3 More to Go!

So, as of this morning's week eight weigh in, I am down 47.4 lbs (or something like that....). Either way, that means I have only 3 more lbs to go until I am down 50 pounds permanently...And I couldn't feel better. I know I have been slacking on pictures, but they will be posted tonight! Promise!

Random Post

So, I haven’t written a post in a really long time. And there is no excuse for it other than life got in the way. I update on Facebook every day, so for those of you who follow me both here and there, you are getting the best of both worlds. As of this morning (not an official weigh-in, that comes tomorrow), I am down 39 pounds since surgery. My six week post op will be tomorrow, so that makes for a weekly average weight loss of 6.5 lbs. Amazing!

I have also had a TON of non-scale victories lately. I actually HAD to dig into my skinny bucket for jeans that fit. My mom and dad told me to throw out my old pants, but I want to keep my biggest pair (that were starting to get tight on me towards the end), but I am going to keep them, and one day I will fit my whole body into one leg of those pants.

I bought a shirt online in a size large, thinking I’d have to wait a few weeks before I’d be able to wear it, but nope, I fit into it already. Crazy! I know I haven’t posted my one month measurements on here, but I will soon. But I did lose 6 inches in my hips. That’s freaking nuts!

I have just had so much more energy, and I feel amazing. My confidence levels get higher each day, and there are some days where I just can’t stop smiling.

One amazing thing about this surgery is how not hungry I am. And I have learned to listen to my body. I can no longer be an emotional eater like I was in the past because my body will reject the food, and then I don’t feel good, so it truly is a happy benefit.

I’ve been really open about the whole process, and I am so up for any questions anyone has, or if you have a specific topic you want me to post about, and my experiences. Just let me know! I’m an open book ready to educate the minds of EVERYONE!

There's a waist peeking through! Week Three Update!

Hey there! Not much to report on this week...Here’s the numbers for you. I started this journey at 287 lbs the night before surgery. My officially weekly weigh in this morning was 258.0 lbs. That’s a loss of 3.8 lbs for the week, and a total loss of exactly 29 lbs.

So, while I was putting together my side by side photos (do you guys even like those? Should I just stick to posting what I look like that week, or keep it side by side?) I noticed that I am starting to get a waist. How freaking exciting! Also, my jeans are starting to get uncomfortably loose. My favorite pair are almost unwearable just because of how terrible I look in them cause they are all baggy in my thighs and butt. I can’t wait to see what my measurements come out to be for month one. I’ll be doing those on the 16^th. 

I’ve learned that rice just really doesn’t sit well with me yet...other than that, I’ve been working on getting my fluids in, which is harder than expected, because even just water makes me full, and then I don’t eat, and I know I need calories...it’s like a balancing act.

I have been feeling really great about myself though this last week, and I’ve been just really focusing on being healthy. My friends make comments at the lunch table about how little I eat, but to me, it’s hard enough getting those calories in. I just AM NOT hungry. I’m sure this will change eventually, since I’m only three weeks out, but for now, it is what it is. I’m beginning to pick up the pace with my exercising since my incisions are healed. I even took a bath on Sunday to relax, and it felt amazing. I can’t wait until I fit more comfortably in the bath tub, but until then, I’ll be enjoying life.

I’m off to do some Zumba on the wii, and study for my first quiz!

Pictures

Week Two Post-Op Update

So first off, I apologize for this not being done on Tuesday. School started Monday, and I was super busy. But here goes nothing... As far as the numbers go- my official weekly weigh in on Tuesday morning was 261.8 lbs which makes for a total loss of 25.2 lbs.

I am pretty much a daily weigher. I know that a lot of WLS vets say this is a bad habit to be in, but I just like seeing the fluctuation. The lowest I have seen this week has been 258 lbs which feels absolutely amazing. I am really starting to feel it in my jeans.

As far as food goes, I’ve been cleared to pureed and some softs. As long as I chew, chew, chew. I had my first “stuck” episode this week. I tried a little piece of pulled pork from my school cafeteria and it was just too dry, and next thing I knew it was stuck. It literally feels like rocks on my chest. It is not a very nice feeling. I ended up going to the bathroom and basically throwing it up, but it didn’t have the stomach acidness of real throw up. I have also noticed that I can no longer take big gulps of water anymore. I can just sip. Which is fine, except that it takes me longer to get the fluids in, and then my water goes warm,  and I prefer my water cold.

My incisions are healing well. I feel really good. My energy is up, and I am really starting to feel my confidence rising. I cut my hair, so I’m truly becoming a new Alyssa. I notice I am happier than I have been in a while, and I really feel that this was the best decision I could have ever made. I have yet to have “buyer’s remorse” and I’m happy about that.

I PROMISE my next blog and pictures will be up on Tuesday. I can’t believe it’s already been two weeks. Time is flying!

My Week in Words

So, first things first- the numbers. Today is my one week post-op blog. I did my official weekly weigh-in (the only one that I really count, no matter how many times I may weigh during the week). To recap, I weighed 287.0 lbs the night before surgery. Well, today, I was 270.2 lbs. That’s a total loss of 16.8 lbs for the first week. Yay!!! Now, I’m going to go through the past week and describe each day, along with some general observations and what not.

Tuesday, the 16^th- I arrived at the hospital by 9 am and my surgery was scheduled for 11 am. My mom and I headed up to the surgery processing place where they checked my blood sugar, did a pee test to be sure I wasn’t pregnant (I’m not, lol), and then put me in my gown and fashionable slippers. I also had my IV put in. The anesthesiologist came in and talked to me and then my surgeon, Dr. Harrison, came in and let me know that he just finished a previous surgery and they were just turning over the OR for me, and I’d be in within the hour. Before I knew it, my mom was taking my glasses and I was saying my goodbyes to my mom. I was feeling pretty calm even then. I did get a little choked up when I had to sign a form saying if anything happened to me, my mom would be the decision maker. That’s when it first really hit me that something could go wrong. But I was just anxious and excited when they rolled me into the prep room of the OR. The anesthesiologist was there and he put a mask on me, and they pushed some medicine through my IV, and that’s all I remember. I was out like a light. The next moment (or so it seemed), I was in recovery, and my mom was there. I guess it was like three hours later, from what I can remember. I had a second IV in my other hand, and a catheter in. My mom was there, but I don’t really remember much from recovery. I do remember being up in my room. I was on Floor 5B in room 17. My mom was there when I woke up, but I kept just going in and out of sleep. The nurse on that night wanted me to keep doing that breathing thing where you suck in and make the ball stay between the arrows. I did that a few times, and then fell back asleep for a little while. I had a pain pump that I had the ability to control my pain meds. I could push the button as much as I wanted, but the meds wouldn’t come out unless it was at least ten minutes since the last dose. I definitely took advantage of my pain pump though. My mom left eventually that evening. The nurses kept telling me I had to get up to walk around, so finally I did. I walked almost one full lap around my floor, when I started getting nauseas so I went back in my room and sat in my chair. It was then that the nurse informed me that my heart rate had gone sky high from that light walk, and that they wanted to take blood work and do an EKG to see why. So the EKG was done, but that came up normal. Then, came the blood work. The night nurse was able to get enough blood out of me in one stick (this is different from other attempts, see below). It turned out that my magnesium levels were low, which is an electrolyte and apparently affects your heart rate. So then, I was given magnesium through my IV as well as my pain meds and my fluids. By midnight, my heart rate was still jumping at the slightest movement or activity on my part. So I was then transferred down to the X-Ray department for a CAT scan. They were checking for blockages or emboli but the scan was normal as well.

Wednesday, the 17^th- I was awoken every hour to hour and half for my vital signs to be taken. My pulse ox was low most of the time so I was kept on oxygen for a while, and my blood pressure was slightly elevated, pretty much my entire stay in the hospital. The morning of the 17^th, I had taken 4 or 5 laps around the floor and felt really great. But in the end, my heart rate was really high (like 165) so it was decided that I should probably have a cardiology consult. I also went for my barium swallow in the morning. This was quite an ordeal. I got down to the X-Ray department where the test would be done. There were tons of other patients down there, but I was called in pretty quickly. I was given a cup full of this nasty barium swallow liquid stuff (now mind you, this is the first thing I’ve gotten to drink since before surgery). The doctor had a camera/x-ray thing in front of my stomach, and had me drink some of the swallow liquid, and then alternate with water. They were checking for leaks. Well, apparently the liquid was going down really slow, so they had me go back out in the waiting room and drink the rest of what was in the cup. Well, I couldn’t get down the entire cup because it made me quite nauseas and I didn’t want to throw up in front of all the people in waiting room. After about a half hour they came back out and got me to do the test, for real. It literally took all of five seconds of me standing in front of the camera and the doctor saw that my pouch wasn’t leaking, so I was cleared to have my first meal of clear liquids! This was ordered and I received sugar free cherry jello and grape juice. I’m not a huge fan of grape juice, but I certainly ate my jello, and a glass of ice water.  Wednesday was otherwise pretty boring, except when Dr. Boorse (Dr. Harrison’s partner) came in. He asked how I was feeling, and I let him know I was still in quite a bit of pain, and I was worried about my heart rate thing. He said that normally they would send me home today, but it was my decision if I wanted to stay an extra night and have the cardiology consult. I chose to stay, just because it’s better to be safe than sorry. So I hung around waiting for the cardiology people to come up to my room. Eventually, my parents and sister came and visited me, and even they were asking about the cardiology consult. My mom and sister went on a little walk with me (I don’t remember how far we went) and my dad stood at the nurse’s station because my screen kept blinking and beeping with my heart rate. It just kept going up, and it took awhile to come back down after walking. I didn’t end up seeing the cardiologist that day. I did have my catheter removed and I was going to the bathroom on my own. The first two times I went, barely anything came out, but by my third trip to the bathroom, I was peeing normally. I also developed a fever that night and so they were worried about that, but once I took my liquid Tylenol with codeine (I was off the pain pump by this point), my fever went down. They also tried taking blood from me again, and the people doing it (they were called technical partners...so not really nurses, but whatever.) couldn’t find a vein that was on the arm opposite my IV. They poked about four times on that arm and about three on the other arm before I started crying from the pain of being poked, and they finally stopped trying.

Thursday, the 18^th- I slept late this day, probably because they were constantly bugging me to take my vitals and what not, plus I was really hot and couldn’t get comfortable. I think it was 9:30 when I woke up, as compared to waking up at 6:30 on Wednesday. I had a cardiologist intern from Arcadia University come in and ask me fifty million questions and then the actual cardiologist came in and said that my heart rate going up was probably just from the stress of the major surgery. Dr. Harrison then came in and he said that the heart rate thing could also be because I was not able to expand my lungs as much as possible (it hurt to breath deep), so my heart was making up for it. He said that I would be discharged on this day. So then the nurse came in and did my discharge papers. I was to make my one week post op with Dr. Harrison’s office and remain on a clear liquid diet until I saw him. I was also able to shower, but not submerge my incisions (they are closed up with this derma bond tape stuff). So, my dad and sister got to the hospital around 2 p.m. and it was an hour car ride home. I think I slept most of the ride, and I kept a pillow over my stomach for the ride as well. I was pretty much just lounging around for the rest of the day.

Friday, the 19^th- I ended up sleeping on the living room recliner on Thursday night. The day was pretty boring. The longest I was able to walk was to the mailbox and back. My diet still consists of sugar free jello, sugar free popsicles, and broth. At this point, I was just focusing on drinking as much water as possible. My grandparents arrived in the afternoon for a visit, so I tried staying awake as much as possible to be able to spend time with them. Once again, I slept on the living room recliner.

Saturday, the 20^th- This day was a big repeat of Friday of just hanging around all day. I went for the mail again, and I just worked on getting fluids in. I was able to sit up for longer periods of time that night. My family went to the Chinese buffet for dinner and I stayed home, and I was not even hungry at all, nor was I jealous or upset that I couldn’t go.

Sunday, the 21^st- I had more energy this day than I had in awhile. I ended up going on a longer walk than I had since surgery, so that was a big deal. I believe it was this day that I really started slowing down with my pain meds, only taking them right before bed.

Monday, the 22^nd- I felt really good yesterday. I had a lot of energy and I put jeans on for the first time since surgery. It was my mom’s birthday, so we went out to dinner. I had a glass of water with a lemon while my mom and sister ate their meals, and I wasn’t even hungry! We then went to Rita’s and I got a sugar free chocolate flavored ice. I had maybe fifteen bites before I was full of it, so the leftovers are in my fridge now. I tried sleeping in my own bed last night, but I was still afraid of rolling over onto my stomach since I am a side/stomach sleeper. I ended back up on the recliner.

Tuesday, the 23^rd- Today I have had more energy as well. It seems that each day gets better than the last (thankfully!). I did take a nap this afternoon, but I was also awake earlier than I had been previously in the week. I am starting to want fuller foods (even just yogurt), but I have to wait until my appointment with my surgeon on Thursday.

So, some general observations, or things I want to document. I am down 17 lbs! Holy cow...I never would have imagined the weight coming off this fast. I know that it will slow down, once I start eating real foods, but it is still so exciting to see.

I have six incisions. Five of them are small (about an inch) and one on my left side is larger (probably 2.5-3 inches). My belly button incision has been bleeding for about a day and a half now. The derma bond tape stuff is supposed to naturally start to peel off, so I think that’s what happened with my belly button incision, except too early. So I’ve been putting either band aids or gauze and a band aid over it until I see my surgeon on Thursday.

Well, that’s all the updates I have for now (I think...). I will post again within a week. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me on Facebook or e-mail me at csiaj90@gmail.com. I will be happy to answer anything!

Tomorrow is the day!

Tomorrow is the day! The hospital called me this afternoon and told me that I have to be at the hospital at 9 a.m. and then my surgery will be at around 11 a.m. The surgery itself will take about 2 hours. There has been all kinds of drama between my doctor’s office and my surgeon’s office. The surgeon’s office tells me today that my primary doctor had to send in his final medical clearance. So then I was back and forth on the phone with my primary doctor getting that all figured out, so that was FINALLY taken care of. 

I will be taking pictures after dinner and posting them up here, as well as my measurements and my official “pre-op weight.” I am starting to get nervous now, as it is becoming real. This whole process has taken about six months total from when I first went to the informational seminar. 

I will posting a blog update on Wednesday evening when I get home from surgery to let everyone know how things went in detail. In the meantime, keep an eye out for another posting later tonight with pictures and measurements.

EXCITING NEWS!

EXCITING NEWS TO FOLLOW!!!!

I have officially been approved by my primary insurance for my surgery! Can I just whew?! What a relief. There of course was some drama in regards to the approval process. Here’s how it went down: my surgeon’s office called me two weeks ago saying that the insurance company had already gotten back to them in regards to my submittal. They needed a two year weight history letter from my primary care physician (PCP). So, I was going in for my medical/surgical clearance at my PCP’s office last Monday (the 18^th) anyway, so I figured I’d call the office and warn them that I would want the letter so that I could fax it to my surgeon’s office. Well, of course, instead of having the letter saved for me for my appointment, they mailed me what was supposedly the letter. Instead, they mailed me two graphs showing my weight over the last seven years. Okay, that was all fine and dandy, except there was no letter on letterhead as I had requested, and there was not even a doctor’s signature on it. I could have just put down some numbers and plotted them in Excel and said it was from my doctor’s office.

So, I get to my appointment with my PCP and I had him write out the letter and print it on letterhead right in front of me. I knew he had to fax my surgical clearance, so I figured it’d be a safe bet that he would also fax my weight history letter. Well, obviously not, because when I called the surgeon’s office the next day to verify they received both my medical clearance and weight history, Tanya (the angel she is!) from my surgeon’s office said they only had the clearance. So, I went on a two day argument with my PCP’s office about faxing over this letter and what not. It turns out they had done numerous things with this letter before finally actually faxing it to the correct number. They had tried faxing it to my cell number (you’d think they would have realized it didn’t go through); they lost the original letter; and then finally they sent it.

So, last Wednesday EVERYTHING needed for my insurance approval was submitted. And I got the letter in the mail from Blue Cross Blue Shield today saying I was officially approved. So, now it really doesn’t matter if Tricare (my secondary insurance) approves it or not because they would not pick up any costs that BC/BS doesn’t cover (which is minimal).

Now, I just wait until the hospital calls me to set up my pre-op testing. So, here’s my question for all my post-opers. What did your pre-op testing consist of? Also, how many nights did you spend in the hospital after surgery? I am scheduled to only spend one night overnight, and as long as my leak test comes out alright, I’ll be home the next day.

Thanks for your input!

OFFICIALLY THREE WEEKS TOMORROW TIL SURGERY DAY!!!

Eating & More

Just a warning guys, this is gonna be a long post. A friend of mine asked if I would blog about the eating habits that need to be implemented pre and post op. To answer this, I referred to a few things that I found extremely helpful. One resource I found extremely helpful (and I’m sure I will continue to find helpful) is the Ten Commandments to Bariatric Surgery Eating. I will list all ten commandments and then explain them as they apply to a WLS surgery patient. Now, these are not for everyone, and each surgeon varies their rules, obviously. This is just a nice list that can help demonstrate the most important rules for me. So here goes:

1.) You Shall Eat Your Protein First

                This is because protein rich foods help delay emptying the stomach, therefore making you feel fuller for a longer period of time. Protein is also used in building muscle, which is always a good thing! It is also said that getting in enough (or more) protein in a day will help reduce some of the hair loss. My surgeon recommends I get 60-70 g of protein everyday. Some foods that will help me get there, especially in the beginning stages post op are greek yogurt, eggs, low fat cheeses, and chicken/turkey. Of course there are others, but these are some of the most popular.

2.) You Shall Choose Solid Foods Over Soft, Mushy, or Liquidy Foods

                Solid foods help to fill up the smaller stomach pouch and stay in your pouch longer than soft, mushy, or liquidy foods do.  A huge way that people cheat weight loss surgery is they go back to eating “slider” foods which can drink the tool you are provided with during surgery.

3.) You Shall Avoid Eating and Drinking at the Same Time

                Solid food + liquid beverage = slushy, mushy consistency. (Refer to Commandment #2!) They say that the pouch/stoma act like a funnel, so adding liquid to a meal will make the food go down through the funnel quicker and therefore, you do not stay hungry as long, which results in eating again, and therefore more calories, which results in a weight gain.

4.) You Shall Avoid Drinks/Liquids With Calories

                Liquids, as stated before, pass through the pouch quickly and do not leave you feeling full. Therefore you end up drinking/eating more, which result in a lot of extra calories. Many drinks contain a lot of calories (more than you’d think....check it out!), so if you are drinking many high calorie drinks, you leave yourself short on calories for the day for actual foods.

5.) You Shall Take Small Bites

                Foods can get stuck!  It is a proven fact. Therefore, the smaller the bite, the less of a chance for obstruction. Simple enough!

6.) You Shall Chew Thoroughly

                Chewing thoroughly help you slow down, avoid overeating, and minimize the chance of obstruction caused by large food particles. It is important for weight loss surgery patients to chew their foods 20-30 times, or until it is the consistency of pudding, according to my surgeon.

7.) You Shall Eat Slowly

                Eating slower prevents you from overeating. It is said that it takes your brain 20 minutes to catch up to your stomach. I don’t know how true that is, but my surgeon recommends taking at least 20 minutes to finish a meal. One thing that can help with this is putting the fork or spoon down between bites (while chewing thoroughly!).

8.) You Shall Stop Eating as Soon as You Feel Full

                My surgeon’s office told me I would have to leave the “empty plate club” because I just would not be able to finish. Portion sizes in America are HUGE! It will be important for me to listen to my body and stop eating as soon as I feel full in order to avoid vomiting.

 
9.) You Shall Stay Hydrated

                I will need to drink a minimum of 64 ounces of water a day (Thank goodness I have started this practice now because it really is harder than you’d think). Many weight loss surgery patients drink much more than the minimum, but it takes time to be able to build up to that. The important thing is staying hydrated. My urine should be (and usually is) very faint yellow, if not clear.

 
10.) You Shall Take Your Daily Vitamins

                Following this surgery I will be on a daily regime of vitamins for the rest of my life. 

My vitamins are as follows (and all either in liquid or chewable form!):

                Multivitamin with Iron  one time a day

                Calcium Citrate (500 mg) twice a day during my mid morning and mid afternoon snack

                Vitamin C (500 mg) once a day

               

So those are the ten commandments of bariatric surgery. Another helpful resources was this HUMONGOUS binder I got full of information of what to eat, different kinds of exercise, different proteins, a whole meal plan, etc. This has been extremely helpful, and it has allowed me to prepare myself as much as possible prior to surgery.

I just wanted to comment on my pre-op diet. I think I may commit a full blog post to this topic in the future, but I just wanted to solicit some feedback from some fellow WLS patients. My surgeon only requires a “two week induction meal plan” prior to surgery which consists of a modified Atkins diet. I know that there are many people who were required to do a liquid diet for at least a week prior to surgery. What was your surgeon’s preference? Just curious!

And lastly, I just wanted to thank everyone who has already mentioned to me that they have read my posts, and look forward to seeing me on my journey. A special shout out to Elaine, Kathy, Glo, Molly, Bindy, and Carol for being especially supportive. I’m sure there are others of you out there who I forgot to mention, and I’m sorry!   

And on the FINAL exciting note for the evening—I am officially only 5 weeks out from surgery. This time in 5 weeks, I will be a weight loss surgery patient, and the rest of my life can begin!
 

Surgeon's Appointment and More...

I had an appointment with my surgeon again today. This was because I switched my decision from band to bypass. I was so nervous that he was going to tell me I wasn’t a good candidate for bypass and not let me switch. That was NOT the case, thank goodness. He told me I was a perfect candidate for bypass since I am so young, and because of the amount of weight I have to lose to get to goal weight.

Therefore, I am good to go with my gastric bypass surgery on August 16. That’s just 39 days away!!! Dr. Harrison (my surgeon) said that the surgery would take about two hours, and then I would stay one night overnight in the hospital. The next morning I will have to swallow some nasty cat scan dye stuff to check for leaks. As long as there are no leaks I will be set to go home.

Just FYI- I will  post pictures weekly post op on here for everyone to see my progress and then once a month I will do side by sides from my night before pictures and I will also take my measurements and post them here once a month.

I have an appointment with my regular family physician on the 18^th for a physical and then the last appointment I will have will be my pre-op stuff (blood work, EKG, etc.). I will make sure to post about those appointments as well. And if you have any suggestions for topics you’d like to see here, or any questions or what not, feel free to comment below or ask on Facebook. I’m being very open about this process, and want you guys to be as involved as you’d like, or just sit back and watch my journey J

My Biggest Fears

It is always interesting to hear the comments and remarks from people when I tell them I am getting the gastric bypass surgery. Most people are supportive and wish me luck on my journey. And then there are others who proceed to go on and tell me about someone they knew who had the bypass and has all these complications and all that. I never know what to say to these people. Of course this surgery has risks. I am not oblivious and I have done all the research, so I full well know what the risks are. But having these comments made to me caused me to sit down and think what my biggest fears of this surgery and journey are.

Now, just as a disclaimer: I know that some of the below fears seem irrational or petty, but as stated in my first post—I want to be complete candid, and that includes any petty fears I may have. So here goes, my biggest fears (in no particular order):

1.) Losing my hair- I have always loved my hair, no matter how stubborn it can be, and I am afraid of losing my hair. I know that many WLS patients lose some hair, but that RNY patients have it worse, typically. I am hoping that I will be able to get all my protein in and take my vitamin supplements and hopefully combat this problem before it starts.

2.) Dying- Obviously there is always a risk of dying in surgery. With the advances in medicine and the use of laparoscopic tools, the risks are decreasing, but the mortality rate will NEVER be zero. So, there will always be this fear. But the important thing I tell myself is that if I keep on the path I am on now, death may be sooner than it should be.

3.) Ruining friendships/relationship- They (and I don’t really know who they is, but...) say that when a person loses a lot of weight that people start acted differently to that person. I am afraid that friends will not support my decision or that my relationship will be damaged because of any attention I may get as a result of the surgery. I do not plan on changing who I am on the inside so I hope people stick with me and support me, but I can’t really beg people to do so.

4.) Failing- I don’t want to fail at another weight loss attempt. I know that this isn’t a diet and that it is a lifestyle change, but it doesn’t make it any easier to think about failing. I just want to be healthy and be able to enjoy my young adulthood. Hopefully having this blog and the support system that I do have will keep me accountable and I won’t have to worry about failing.

5.) Excess skin getting in the way of buying cute clothes- Even now I love wearing tank tops and sleeveless shirts. As of right now I have fat taking up the space of what is being showed off. In the future, the fat will be replaced with “turkey flap wings” (as Steve and I have affectionately been calling batwings). I am worried that I will be so self-conscious about my excess skin that I will not be able to buy the “skinny” clothes I want to. I think a big part of the reason why I’m okay with wearing it now is that I feel invisible as a fat person. I don’t get a lot of attention, and I feel like I kinda just “blend in.”

Well, there you have it...and if you have any suggestions of ways to combat my fears or anything, feel free to comment either here or on my Facebook. I would love to hear your opinions!