My Biggest Fears

It is always interesting to hear the comments and remarks from people when I tell them I am getting the gastric bypass surgery. Most people are supportive and wish me luck on my journey. And then there are others who proceed to go on and tell me about someone they knew who had the bypass and has all these complications and all that. I never know what to say to these people. Of course this surgery has risks. I am not oblivious and I have done all the research, so I full well know what the risks are. But having these comments made to me caused me to sit down and think what my biggest fears of this surgery and journey are.

Now, just as a disclaimer: I know that some of the below fears seem irrational or petty, but as stated in my first post—I want to be complete candid, and that includes any petty fears I may have. So here goes, my biggest fears (in no particular order):

1.) Losing my hair- I have always loved my hair, no matter how stubborn it can be, and I am afraid of losing my hair. I know that many WLS patients lose some hair, but that RNY patients have it worse, typically. I am hoping that I will be able to get all my protein in and take my vitamin supplements and hopefully combat this problem before it starts.

2.) Dying- Obviously there is always a risk of dying in surgery. With the advances in medicine and the use of laparoscopic tools, the risks are decreasing, but the mortality rate will NEVER be zero. So, there will always be this fear. But the important thing I tell myself is that if I keep on the path I am on now, death may be sooner than it should be.

3.) Ruining friendships/relationship- They (and I don’t really know who they is, but...) say that when a person loses a lot of weight that people start acted differently to that person. I am afraid that friends will not support my decision or that my relationship will be damaged because of any attention I may get as a result of the surgery. I do not plan on changing who I am on the inside so I hope people stick with me and support me, but I can’t really beg people to do so.

4.) Failing- I don’t want to fail at another weight loss attempt. I know that this isn’t a diet and that it is a lifestyle change, but it doesn’t make it any easier to think about failing. I just want to be healthy and be able to enjoy my young adulthood. Hopefully having this blog and the support system that I do have will keep me accountable and I won’t have to worry about failing.

5.) Excess skin getting in the way of buying cute clothes- Even now I love wearing tank tops and sleeveless shirts. As of right now I have fat taking up the space of what is being showed off. In the future, the fat will be replaced with “turkey flap wings” (as Steve and I have affectionately been calling batwings). I am worried that I will be so self-conscious about my excess skin that I will not be able to buy the “skinny” clothes I want to. I think a big part of the reason why I’m okay with wearing it now is that I feel invisible as a fat person. I don’t get a lot of attention, and I feel like I kinda just “blend in.”

Well, there you have it...and if you have any suggestions of ways to combat my fears or anything, feel free to comment either here or on my Facebook. I would love to hear your opinions!